The Un-Couple

Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?

-Charles Bukowski

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About Love, Relationships, Dating, and Lifestyles

The Un-Couple – An Introduction

A few years ago I started writing a book based on my own lived experience. The book led to this blog. The inspiration, like most things the human mind invents, was born out of frustration. You see, at age 38, I unwittingly entered into unexplored territory for a nearly middle aged, divorced mother in the Midwest. I entered into an agreement with someone that wasn’t defined by any existing word. What unfolded over the next seven years was the most enlightening, enriching, and rewarding experience I’ve had in my lifetime. I learned so many things about myself, humans, society, love, and relationships. However, I couldn’t share this with others because there was no language to explain it; and there was little tolerance for the unorthodox manner at which I spoke about love. So I decided to put it all in writing. When people asked me about my love life, I could just hand them the book. Over time, I continued to live and work as a clinical therapist. In my work, I came to find the same themes plaguing my clients’ love life over and over. This made me want to write the book even more; but somehow I became stuck. I was seized by fear of rejection, criticism, judgment. Eventually, I accepted that I had something to say, this was my voice; and somewhere there is a reader who needs to hear this. And today, I decided to open a forum by starting this blog.

Relationships are funny. The fact that we even call relationships by that word is odd. What does the word actually mean? The Oxford dictionary defines relationship as “the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.” By this definition, there is no one way to have a relationship with anything. Oh but there is when you live in a society! There is a model of how to have a romantic relationship that predates our birth, and it has clear rules about how to do it right. However, I am here to be a voice that challenges this traditional model. I don’t want to discredit it, because it works for so many people. In fact, I seek to enhance it while offering another model–a new paradigm.

Stay tuned for more, I hope to explore and expand your mind and my own as I journey into a world where expectations and boundaries are challenged, love is redefined, and self expression is a lifestyle.

Disclaimer: This blog is a reflection of my opinion, and is in no way being shared as proven fact. The information shared in this blog is based on my own anecdotal experience derived from my work with clients, and my own personal lived experiences. In fact, I would say with confidence that there are many “right answers” in this realm, and some of my suggestions may even be wrong for others. When reading this blog, I challenge you to use it as a tool for self exploration. If something written here resonates with you, then run with it. If something challenges you, lean into it and explore why you feel challenged. If something outright conflicts with your values or beliefs, then I respectfully encourage you to follow your own heart.

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4 responses to “The Un-Couple – An Introduction”

  1. “However, I couldn’t share this with others because there was no language to explain it; and there was little tolerance for the unorthodox manner at which I spoke about love.”

    Thank you for paving the way and helping to create the language to be able to explain it. There can’t be tolerance or acceptance for something that is so misunderstood.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. “However, I couldn’t share this with others because there was no language to explain it; and there was little tolerance for the unorthodox manner at which I spoke about love.”

    Thank you for paving the way and helping to create the language to be able to explain it. There can’t be tolerance or acceptance for something that is so misunderstood.

    Like

  3. It was recommended that I start reading your blog by a friend. I’ve always thought you had such a way of understanding and explaining. I’m excited to keep reading and for you to keep writing. You know I love ya!! ❤️ Nikki

    Liked by 2 people

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